Throughout my entire adolescence, every time I got into her car, no matter what I’d been doing that day, my mother would always say something to imply that I smelled horrible;
“Did you brush your teeth this morning?”
“When was the last time you washed that jacket?”
“Have you started smoking?!”
Sound familiar?
Now, I’ll admit, to the donkey-stubborn 14 year old me, she may as well have been speaking Mandarin. But as time’s gone on, and as I’ve learnt a thing or two about what I want from life and about what makes women tick (not mutually exclusive concepts), it’s dawned on me that my mum might have been – in her own passive aggressive way – teaching me a valuable lesson.
That lesson, which I’m now going to explore with you, is this:
Not all noses are created equal.
HOW WOMEN SMELL
I mean, they smell like apple pie and roses, but let’s get serious for a second.
There is tons of scientific research showing the extreme difference between men and women when it comes to the sensitivity of the olfactory system:
The key sense organ involved in smell is called the olfactory bulb. It lives at the front of your brain, tucked-in behind your forehead, and its job is to transmit information gathered by the nervous fibres in your nose up to your brain, which then tries its best to turn that information into thoughts and impulses that you can act on and understand.
Simple enough, right?
Wrong.
In 2014, researchers at the University of São Paulo published conclusive evidence that confirms a suspicion as old as the hills – ladies really do smell better. Women were found to have an average of 16.2 million cells in their olfactory bulb, compared with a measly 9.4 million for men.
That makes women, on average, roughly 60% more sensitive to smell than men.
For perspective; 60% is about the same as the difference between the top speed of a Ferrari F40 and the newest Volvo estate. Night and day / chalk and cheese / Johnson and Corbyn.
WHY IT MATTERS
Beard odour is a hidden pandemic.
It’s no secret that full, lustrous beards are in fashion right now, and for good reason. A well styled beard frames your face, strengthens your jawline and accentuates your masculinity, while a nourishing grooming routine keeps your follicles hydrated and your beard and skin looking healthy and youthful. All very sexy stuff.
But the benefits and potential pitfalls don’t stop there.
We interviewed the 10 most attractive women we could find, and when we asked them about smelly beards – after their eyes had stopped rolling – this is the gist of what they said:
“First of all, your beard is close to your mouth. If I’m going near your mouth, it’s not because I want to find out what topping you had on your hotdog last night, know what I mean? A bad smelling beard destroys a guy’s sex appeal.”
“We love beards. Beards are sexy. Beards make us want to cuddle. But, honestly, there is absolutely nothing worse than getting close to a guy, when all you want to smell is them, their smell, and instead what you get is the smell of damp carpet and stale cigarettes. Huge turn off. Like, the worst. Worse than bad breath.”
“I’m glad beards are in fashion. Stubble sucks. You have to remember us girls’ skin is very soft. Face to face contact is kind of a big deal. Brushing against stubble feels like a thousand sharp knives. There’s no excuse for a beard that stinks though. The worst thing is that, at the most intimate moments, it’s a massive distraction, you know?”
WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT
What all of this DOESN’T mean, is that you should douse yourself in overpowering aftershave so people in the beer garden smell you coming as soon as you open the taxi door. Those ham-fisted, boarish, Joey Essex tactics are best left back in the 90’s, along with Lynx Africa and frosted tips.
Instead, why not explore the world of HD Beard Oils, Beard Balms and Beard Shampoo? The nuances of smell and how knowledge can empower you – and boost your confidence – is like a golden thread that runs through the entire range.
Take a look for yourself here:
So remember, pleasing women is important, but it’s not everything.
You’ve got to look after yourself too lads, for your own mental wellbeing.
Let’s leave it with this quote from Morgan Spurlock, creator of 2004 documentary Super Size Me:
“Even to this day, if I smell a Big Mac, I’m like Pavlov’s dog. My mouth starts watering immediately, like, ‘Man, that is so good,’ but I can’t take a bite of it.”
If you’ve seen the documentary, you’ll know how powerful of a statement that is!
Throw any questions in the comments section below.